Thursday, March 4, 2010

Day 3 - Cozumel

Nothing like a gorgeous man to wake up to in the morning, now is there?
After a early start that led to a later start, we hit the breakfast buffet and planned our snorkeling day in Cozumel. Let me back up a bit and talk about our eating pattern on a cruise. We will certainly do the formal dinner. 4-5 courses of well-prepared food and good dinner conversation is always a winner. Formal breakfast, not so much. I'm sorry, but I'm on VACATION! On vacation, I don't get up out of bed before 9-10am for nobody, unless the house is on fire (and I better not be able to reach a fire extinguisher from the bed or THAT might not happen). Formal breakfast starts at like 6:30 and ends at 8:30am. Hell. To. The. No. So, that's why there is no dining room tales from breakfast. We hit the buffet hard and fast, blink at each other lovingly while the coffee and eggs work their magic, then begin our day of leisure at a reasonable hour.
We got to Cozumel a little after 11am, but snorkeling from a catamaran in the ocean wasn't until 1pm, so we set off to find our tour group and sunscreen to kill time until then. Tours line up at the end of the pier, conveniently located next to the gift pavilion of Mexican froo fa fa. It's a land of colorful bags and dresses and authentic handcrafted sombreros and panchos made in China. But to get to that you have to pass the group of barely legal partygoers at the liquorstore buying case after case of "cheap" tequila or the gaggle of folks at the farmaceria buying the Levitra and Oxycontin they were prescribed from el doctor Ramon Garcia next door. Jack likes the pharmacy because it's one of the few places he can find cinnamon Tic Tacs (we don't know why, but it seems like there is some secret pact to rid the world of the cinnamony goodness of the Tic Tac).

We got our suntan lotion and applied liberally. Now that we both smelled like fruity drinks, we looked for our tour group only to discover that because of the high winds, ALL water sports (minds out of the gutter...) were cancelled. No snorkelling for us. Whomp whomp! They offered an even exchange on a Beach Party excursion we'd originally looked at, so we were off to a day of sunbathing, Mexican barbeque, and free drinks at the bar. Score!!!

The beach turned out to be pretty nice. Great view, beautiful water, great surroundings (meaning we were the youngest and thinnest and, let's face it, prettiest couple on the beach)...then they arrived. A small group of 20somethings, led by the Miami versions of Snooki and The Situation arrived with their 7% body fat and perfect skin and tiny waists...I hated them on spec. See?


So, I went to the bar for some fruit-inspired beverages to calm my seething hatred, and a couple hours later I didn't want the tsunami to sweep them out to sea. See? Growth.

Jack is a sun baby and for the entire time we were there, short of the half hour we played in the surf, this was his view:

We woke up to grab some food and shop a little before heading back to the ship when we saw them packing up ALL the food. Dammit! Okay, now I'm starving and sunbaked...annnnnnnd a little drunkies (a daiquiri and a VERY strong piƱa colada...and maybe a margarita...). We head into the shopping area where Jack served me up to a salesperson while he made his escape (note to self: no direct eye contact with the salespeople). I escape a really sucky sales pitch
Him: "You like ba-nilla? I sell to you for $30."

Me :in my mind:: "You must be on the good shit, because you are Whitney crazy if you think imma buy this $6 bottle of vanilla for $30...crackhead."

Me, out loud: "No thank you."

We hit the bus for the boat and head back into town to shower, change, and eat before heading back to the shopping center at the pier to do some bargain shopping for vanilla. Momma needs vanilla for cookies, cakes and pies over the holidays, so I needs to get a good deal.

Next: Near-naked Airmen and the effects of too much sun and being overserved.

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