Day Three of the Cruise

My ass hurts…and not in a good way. Just sayin’… Frankly, after dodgeball and the number of flights of stairs we climbed “to prove you can get some exercise and enjoy the cruise…” my ass is a rock-hard work of art. Kiss that, Buns of Steel!

Day Three was another cruise day at sea because one of our engines wasn’t working, so we had to reroute our trip and sail on to Honduras first. Day three was kinda fun. Nothing at all like relaxing all day…we didn’t do that, of course, but there is nothing in the world like it. I believe we got up at about 10:30am, because the bed felt sooooooooooooo good. After ambling upstairs for what was left of breakfast, we found ourselves up on the deck, and as the sun had decided to join us on the vacation that day, we decided to lay out. Happily, the cruise ship we are on is made up mostly of the older cruise traveler and the out-of-shape cruise traveler, so bearing my 38 y.o. body on the deck was usually not a major issue. I’m still in shape-ish and despite my recent additional carry-on luggage, waistside, I still look okay in a swimsuit…at least I thought so until the Gay Tour Group hit the decks. Nothing like judgment and the Gay Onceover to make you feel a little more subconscious about your body. And, might I add…bitch better look like Mario Lopez in a thong before you give me the G.O. and add a tsk tsk. Just sayin’. Unfortunately, in addition to the short, squat Gays, the bear/otter Gays, and the February/December Gay couples onboard, there were the occasional youngish I-am-or-once-was-a-male-swimsuit-model-and-only-have-2% bodyfat Gays in their tiny Speedos and party cowboy hats on deck lounging with their slightly older BFs. I envy, and hate only because I envy. Believe me, that couple didn’t get a tsk tsk from Chubby Haterstein.

We chatted with a couple of our tablemates, Paul and Greg, about the dodgeball tournament that afternoon. Paul had wanted to play, so I thought we’d go up and support him. Paul and Greg, we originally believed to be a couple, turned out to be just good Gay friends who travel well together. Paul, a 40ish Asian engineer is single and seems to have a laizee-faire attitude about the cruise. Been there, done that. Greg, late 30s, White, and partnered, seemed to just be enjoying the cruise and the vacation (ed. note: WHO WOULDN’T?!?) We ate a quick lunch, then ventured off to watch the dodgeball game. I did not warn either Paul or Keith (one of our other tablemates) about how taxing the game actually was. (Ed. note: I’m still sore from the game…) We watched and took photos and then somehow got conned into a game of ping pong. Filed under “Little things you learn about your partner after 12 years of togetherness…” my Baby loves him some ping pong. He would love to play for hours, until he either got good at it or he actually beat me. I have a strong feeling that if he ever actually beat me, he’d be okay with setting his paddle down and not playing me again, but he’d still find someone else to want to play with. What he doesn’t know (and I have no intention of actually admitting to him) is that my formative years were spent in a youth center, honing my skills at ping pong, pool, bumper pool, and air hockey. I don’t play and let him get points, but he’d have so little fun if I actually tried to kick his ass, so each day the game plays until 20 and I’m undefeated.

We had a Broadway stage show and listened to some wonderful singers perform hits from Evita, Cats, Starlight Express, Dreamgirls, Chicago and more. Awkward moment of the show: colorblind casting is interesting to watch when you have a young chubby White woman singing “One Night Only – The Disco Version” with her two Supremes, then follow it up with another Black diva singing “And I Am Telling You I’m Not Going.” All in all, the show was really well done.

Dinner was casual in the dining room, so we headed straight from the show to dinner with our full table, Will and Denise, Paul and Greg, and Keith and Beverly. It gave us an opportunity to get to know each of them better. Denise is a hoot. She really is just fun, lively, bubbly and just a warm person. She keeps our head waiter, Romeo, in line and on his toes all night. She’s married to Will (32 years), an Air Force guy, and they have 12 children (5 special needs). Amazing people. Keith and Beverly have been together about 12 years, but aren’t married. Keith is an engineer of sorts, for a bridge-building firm and Beverly is in accounting.

Dinner and conversation finished, we headed to the Promenade level for the ship’s Mardi Gras festivities. They cordoned off both sides of the walkway, then had their own Mardi Gras parade, complete with beads and streamers and costumes. It was the PG version of Bourbon Street, so no boobies were flashed for beads (thank GOD). We hung out with Greg and Paul and watched the hotties from the cruise ship’s productions parade down the main runway dressed like escapees from a revival of the Village People. (I started to say a Gay revival, but that woulda been redundant…)

After the Mardi Gras parade, we decided to go to bed and get some rest because the next day we were actually going to have to do something, so we headed back to our room, ordered room service, then crawled into bed. Next day: Roatan, Honduras!