Monday, June 1, 2009

Cray Cray all up in the Place

Never a dull moment in retail.

Security sees a Black woman (rough looking 30s) shopping with her child (12 or 13). She picks up a purse, grabs something out of her bag, pops the security sensor off the new bag, then sends her son out to her car with her purse, all the while shopping with our purse on her shoulder. He comes back in and they "shop" some more.
She's done so she exits the building out the in door (something alot of our thieves seem to do on a regular basis). Security catches her and leads her back in the store where she politely begins a slow build from "kinda off" to "full on cray cray." In the short-ish time she was held by security and the manager who acted as a female witness, old girl did the following:

- Threatened to "piss myself and all over the equipment" if they didn't let her go,
- Beshat herself and farted to stink up the room,
- After seeing her sister in the moniter of the building, leaned into the moniter and yelled "Chante'!! I'm in here!!! You hear me?!? Chante'?!?" (the equivalent of yelling at her television set),
- Threatened to walk out of the office, because she didn't like the way our secuity was looking at her,
- Turned all the monitors off, one button at a time because "Y'all ain't watchin' them anyway!",
- Grabbed all the merchandise she'd stolen and tore the tags off the items, then rolled them up to put in the purse she stole because, "if you gone send me to jail, I'ma go for somethin'! Give this to my sister!"

Then, when the police officers arrived, her coup de grace... when she didn't sit down upon direction of the officer, he goes to cuff her and...

she kicks him in the balls. A glancing blow, but she did get the goods.

Annnnnnnnnnnd then is slammed to the ground by a PISSED off officer and cuffed.

Final tally: One arrest, 1 count theft, 1 count assault of an officer, 1 count resisting arrest, 1 pair of shoes stolen that couldn't be recovered, 3 hours of priceless entertainment.

It's days like this that ALMOST make up for hellish weekends like the last one.


Tim Corrimal said...

Oh Dear Lord. I think it's time to get a job not in retail (grin). Thanks for sharing.

RambleRedhead said...

Wow you have a COPS episode right at work!

Glad it wasn't your balls that were busted!