Sunday, July 13, 2008

Another Day in Retail Hell

Hi all. A little bit more about me. I work as a retail manager for a discount retailer of mainstream to high-end fashion. Sundays are generally a big ole biatch of a day to work in the store because 1) you are working by yourself and there is no break from the store to be had and 2) the store is generally overwhelmed with customers who sem to have forgotten all that they learned in church 5 minutes prior. On an average day the store is busy here and there, but it's summertime and from literally the time we open the doors to the time we give last call we are wall to wall screaming children and crappy customers [ed. note: the views expressed by the blogger are his and his alone and only refer to those customers he describes as crappy, pissy, bitchy, messy, or thieving].

Today was no different. My scheduling manager, we'll call Felicity because...I can't come up with anything clever at the moment, has the tendency to schedule the b a r e m i n i m u m of associates to work in the store on my days to work. I had just enough people at store opening that I could have bought breakfast from the dollar menu with a $5 and had change. Never enough. The associates trickled in slowly until I had 7 people to clean up after the hundreds of shoppers that were waiting to get in the door.

Sundays tend to bring out the fraudulent returner. "No ma'am we never sell Prada handbags at our store. Ever." "No ma'am...your receipt says you paid $150 for the suit...the regular retail on it is $49.99." "If you never wore the shirt, sir, how come there's a chili stain under the deodorant ring on the inside?"

Plus, our part of town brings in the "family shopper" (i.e. one person shopping and a 15 person entourage that destroys the store while they wait.) One half expects paparazzi at the door when they leave.

I'm sure future posts will discuss shopping etiquette with an emphasis on parents and children who shop. Right now, I'm thrilled to have the next 3 Sundays off. My Boo (who may get a clever nickname in the future) and I are planning a short vaycay to Memphis to visit some of his family and do some sightseeing. I look forward to it before I delve into Texas tax-free weekend and Back to School. Hope this finds you all doing well. Going to hit the sack and dream of a clean department and quiet children.

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